A decade ago this month I began a 10-year odyssey that began with one, of many, life changing decisions; most of which resulted in the opposite of what I intended for both my financial and personal well-being.
Instead of dwelling on “Why me? Why me?”, I grasped (in a strangle-hold) the viewpoint that life presents lessons. Until we learn the lesson life continues to present the challenge. Well, for the last 10 years there were a couple of lessons life was determined that I learn – and evidently I am was a slow learner.
On January 18 I knew I was moving back to Texas. I didn’t “decide” to move back to Texas. I knew it was the right thing. For the last 4 years, since the collapse of another marriage, I’ve struggled with the decision to stay in Maine or move back home to Texas. With the husband now and ex-husband I had no family within 2000 miles. But I did have a couple of dear, close friends, several acquaintance friends and a business with which I had a co-dependent love-hate relationship. I knew decided to stay in Maine, building a life of my own and my business in Maine.
I love Lobsters. Really.
Maine is a fabulously beautiful place. I love Maine. I love the rugged beaches, the lighthouses, the lobster, the mountains and the clean air.
I love Portland, ME. I love the restaurants, I love the creative people and businesses and the fact that you can leave your house at 8:00 for PWM, arrive, park, go through security, grab a coffee and still have an hour before your 9:45 departure.
I love Maine. I also love my parents and my sister and brother. I exaggerated earlier. I did have family within 2000 miles of Maine – 1841 miles to be exact. Still, 1841 miles is a hell of a long way. Last fall I decided knew I needed to spend some time with my folks so arranged to be away and spend a couple of months in Texas over the holidays. A few weeks later preparing for a client call, I picked up a notebook to jot out a list of ‘to-dos’ and what came off the end of my pen was
I knew. I didn’t decide. I knew.
Wednesday a dear friend Suzanne (who is, by the way, going waaaay beyond the call of friendship duty) and I fly to Portland to sort, toss, pack and drive my worldly belongings back home to Texas. (Can you say GIRL ROAD TRIP~!!!??)
The lesson? I’ve been trying to put it into words. I’m not sure it’s possible. I’m not sure it’s a single lesson but an outlook. I’ve felt so unconnected for the past several years; like I had no roots. But I realized I do have roots and I’ve had them all along – just shallow and spread out over a lot of places and distance. I don’t need to grow new roots or find new places. I need to focus on the solid, strong roots I already have.
Those are in Texas. I know that’s right.
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